Ed's Anything-but-Ordinary Life
by TheCrazyJackalope
Summary: Ed lived a boring life, he'll admit to that for now. But if Ed knew there was a mystifying secret just beyond the trees of the woods, he would know without the shadow of a doubt he'll never be bored again. Given the chance, his family, friends, and foes don't try to stop him, but hey, we all came to expect these things, right?
1. Normal Day, School, House

**Chapter 1: Normal Day, School, House**

The beginning of a normal day was easy and predictable. You get up, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, get clothes, go off to school or work, depending on your age.

Even for Ed Christensen had predicted this with his intelligence and vaguely dread it, however small it might be. But all it did was drive his curiosity to discover the new legend of the month.

The Curiosity of Eastern World; Gensokyo.

But sadly it was a mere fancy of his, because no matter how much Ed wishes so, things just never turn out the way he had wanted. So Ed had merely spend the rest of his time reading comics and had went out explore the little woods off behind the cul-de-sac, finding it rather serene in his own little ways.

He had planned to do so again after school today; it was Friday so he had the next two days and a half all to himself to do whatever had floated across his mind at the time.

It was time to go to school, and Ed wants to explore the woods as much as he can.

* * *

"Ooh, school's extra bad today," Eddy groaned. "I didn't even got wind of what our History teach even saying half the time."

"Eddy, you wouldn't be so lacking in school and academic performances if you would actually pay attention to the teacher for once!" Edd chastised, "AND you wouldn't have to come to my assistance for everything that involves academics!"

"Uh oh! Looks like Mr. Grumpy Dickens is grumpy!" Ed giggled childishly, "I like Eddy being grumpy! He makes me laugh like chickens does!"

The boy snorted and giggled softly and couldn't help but reaching into his backpack, intending to eat a chicken leg he had stowed away at lunch for later consumption.

Instead, his finger slipped on something not quite chicken-y as he thought; it felt wooden, rough and something else, like a linen ribbon or something. Before he could dwelt longer than this, his hand had already found what he was finding initially and pulled it out.

All thoughts of what he had felt was immediately purged from his mind and was now on eating the chicken leg, noisily smacking his lips and tossing out saliva as he did so, much to the general exasperation to his other friends.

"Ed! For goodness' sake, can you please eat a little less filthily? You're contaminating our seats and the ones in front of ours with your pathogens!" his mysophobic and neurotic friend cried out noisily in indignation.

"Sorry Double-D," Ed munched noisily, slurping up the small amounts of sauces that had fallen onto his hands, burping soon afterwards. "Ed's stuffed."

Edd merely sighed and muttered something, "Lovable oaf," before returning to a rather heated conversation with Eddy.

Ed had returned to staring out at the moving scenery with a smile on his lips.

He always does that when he's thinking of something.

* * *

 **Hello, FanFiction world! The name's Jack and yer reading my first story ever (lies lol)! Here's a couple things to know before going onward. It's not mandatory, but it's pretty important if you do so.**

 **1\. This isn't a Romance fanfic.  
While you might expect that from the genre, Fantasy/Adventure, I just want to make it abundantly clear that this isn't a kissy-kissy make out fanfic. So while there may be some cutesy fluff schoolboy-and-girl crushes every now and then, there'll be no hot 'n sexy lovemaking any time soon.**

 **2\. I'm a little inexperienced and have a really weird schedule.  
I have ADHD, so that means I update my stories at crazy weird days, like a Christmas chapter at New Year's Eve or something along those lines. Sometimes I'll go on and update one chapter with a three day gap between each on a good month, or go whole months without updating on a bad one. So just a quick headsup if that happens.**

 **3\. I'm a schoolboy.  
I have a life, a school life, a family life, a social life, etc. etc... So if you notice I'm gone for a week or two, I'm probably on vacation or have a school assignment to worry about or even a family gathering from now and then. Luckily, they're few and far in between so you don't have to worry about them much. I'll usually give people a warning just before leaving to expect roughly how long I'll be gone for, but if I leave for a long time with no warning, consult Rule no. 2.**

 **And that's pretty much it! If you're reading this right now, I'm happy that you took the time to read each sentences word for word to know what happens and what to expect of me and this fic. So until then, I'll meet you at the end of each chapter.**

 **See you all at the next chapter, bye!**


	2. Key and Gate

**Chapter 2: Key and Gate**

"ED!"

"Eek!" Ed squeaked mousily, dropping whatever he was holding on at the time—a spoon, to outside viewers—and scrambled around to face his furious younger sister, with Jimmy hiding timidly just behind the kitchen doorway, unsure if he should watch or interfere for once.

It's always the first option he picked.

"ED! Get your stupid friends out of my room! We were playing tea party when THEY had butted in!" Sarah barked furiously, jabbing a stout finger right up the ceiling, where Ed had twitched his ears slightly and had picked up what she was complaining about.  
Raucous laughter shook the floorboards slightly as Edd tried desperately to silence Eddy down. Ed silently nodded unwillingly and started for the stairs. Just right off his left:

"Eddy! Hush! For goodness' sake, Sarah's going to get irate again!" Edd chided, trying his absolute best to restrain him.  
"Come on guys, Sarah's going to get jittery and tell Mom!" Ed whimpered nervously. Reluctantly pulling Edd and Eddy out of her room and tossing them—Ed himself included—right out the mercifully opened window.

Luckily, they falled right onto a large leafy shrub just off to the side of the barbecue grill so no damage was done besides maybe a leaf and branch stuck in a crevice or two and a small handful of scratches scattered throughout the exposed skin.

""Ed! You idiot, what the heck were you doing?!" Eddy barked furiously, Ed quailed slightly under his angered stare, "We were having a great time in there until you decided to lob all of us out!"

"If you mean 'we' by 'you', then yes, yes you were," Edd harshly told his stocky friend, "But none of us were very excited when you decided to raid Sarah's room for recreational enjoyment like some kind of barbaric marauder."  
Ed had none-too-gently dislodged himself from the pile as shown when his two shorter friends were sent crashing onto the ground, "S-Sorry guys, but Sarah told me that she would tell Mom what happened if I didn't do what she said!"  
Eddy scoffed, his former anger had started to ebb away massively, "Yeah, well just move to some kinda abandoned wasteland in a Japanese place where monsters and gods live or some gunk like that, then Sarah wouldn't have to get on your butt so many times."

"That's oddly specific Eddy." Edd commented with a thinly raised eyebrow.

"Whatever," Eddy waved off, "I'm goin' back to my shindig for some overdue magazine readings, holler if you need me or whatever."

"Ed and Edd had watched on as Eddy retreated back into the backdoor at his house just across the streets, knowing that he had merely retreated into his room.

Ed silently stared off at the woods, unaware that Edd had already left him to his own devices when he had said something about experiments. Ed still stared on, not even sure what he's going to do now.

Wait, what was Ed going to do today again?

Oh right. The woods.

Ed lightly dashed off towards the dark canopy of trees in his strange little march; where he had leaned back so much that his back was nearly perpendicular to his lower half and his upper body gently bobbed up and down to the rhythm of his walk.

Crisscrossing streams of light had hit Ed as he leisurely strolled through the woods with a mellow smile on his lips, cheerful and blissfully unaware of his surroundings.

Eventually Ed had gotten so distracted of, well, everything—ranging from what was he doing, to what he'll find, to what even he ate for the past day— to the point he had subconsciously wandered in so deep into the woods to the point that it was so dark Ed couldn't even see three yards in front of him.

Frightened, but nonetheless adventurous, Ed continued onwards no matter how little he sees. Eventually, it had gotten so dark that Ed felt like his visions might have been stolen away, leaving him in darkness with only four senses to work with. Trembling in a strange combination of coldness, fear and anticipation, Ed had outright broke into a run, dashing through shadows, getting faster the longer he stood in the darkness.

Eventually, after what felt like days of darkness, the leaves above Ed's head had gradually thinned out and let more light through. After a minute of running, Ed finally slowed down to pant for air, breathing slowly in and out to feel less winded.

When Ed felt better, he gently stood up to see what was behold in front of him. His vision was still dark and dim, but bright enough for Ed to make out the shape and color of what he was seeing.

Two pairs of faded vermillion pillars placed far apart from each other, with the distance in between being somewhat comparable to the size of a garage door. The height is also impressive; about the size of 17 feet if he was a judge. Ed also observed two straight beams, one going through the two pillars and one longer laying on the pillars, as a part of the structure. But the part that had Ed's intrigue the most was the pair of wooden doors in between the pillar.

It was slightly greenish, like a rusted bronze in color with a faded brown door handle on each door. Strange, intriguing glyphs and scriptures were engraved all around the doorframe, capturing Ed's attention further. A hollow whisper of wind was heard emanating from the door, hinting at what secrets the gates hide.

Ed stepped closer to the gate, feeling as though he had made the discovery of the millennia, and stood right in front of the doors. He tried pried opened the doors with nothing but his hands, only for it to slip away from the wood. Ed had tried to push the doors inwards, but it felt like he was pushing a mountain instead. Not a single ounce of even Ed's herculean strength helped opening the gate; much to Ed's subconscious disbelief.

Resigned to the fact he couldn't make the gates budge, Ed shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed dramatically. But before he left the gates, Ed's fingers slip onto something again; it was the exact same texture and shape of the object in Ed's backpack just yesterday.

Surprised, he pulled it out of his pockets and examined it closely.

It was a broken twig, maybe about the thickness of his pinky finger. It was as long as his hand and still had little branches on it, with small green leaves and everything. The main eye catching feature, though, were at the bottom of the twig; it was the notched teeth of a skeleton key, but instead of being carved and glued onto the stick, it looked as though it had merely been a natural growth of the twig. A white thin ribbon was tightly wound around just below the little branches like a makeshift handle of sorts, with two zigzagging paper streamers protruding just off the top of the white ribbon.

Overall, it had the appearance of a key. Granted, a strange one that had no locks Ed knows that it can open, but a key nonetheless.

As Ed looks at it longer and longer, he starts to wonder what it could unlock, and as he does so, Ed had subconsciously turned his head towards the strange red gate. Staring back and forth to the key and back, Ed glances towards the gate one final time before rushing towards the wooden doors.

Like his hands were guided by a supernatural being, Ed found the keyhole almost like second nature and effortlessly twisted the key into unlocking door.

Once Ed pulls the key back out of the keyhole, the door gave one chilling creak, and another before gently sweeping inwards, releasing a gale of wind blowing outside to hit Ed on the way out as it does so, showing a deep dark, shadowy corridor, filling Ed with excitement.

Ed stared deep into the doorway, excitement building up under his skin. He turned around once, twice, before steeling himself for the journey.

He took one step inside, another and another, before Ed Christensen disappeared into the door.

* * *

 **Jack's Notes**

 **Note to self: I hate typing on the iPad sometimes. If you're wondering why, it's because whenever I type stuff on it, it'll convert to** **p style="text-align: left;" or something like that. With that said though, here's chapter two of my story! If some of you are wondering how Ed knows about Gensokyo's legend, I'll explain that in a chapter or two, you just gotta be patient.**

 **Well, until then, bye bye!**


	3. Difficulties and Language Barriers

**Chapter 3: Difficulties and Language Barriers**

The instant the door slammed shut behind him, Ed immediately shivered from the sudden cold, like any and all heat that had been inside the corridor and Ed had been taken away once the door was sealed. Clinging onto his ratty jacket as his only source of heat while holding the wooden key in his hand, Ed started to make his way through the dark corridor.

It was almost pitch black; dark, suffocating and mysterious-feeling. It was so dark that Ed was surprised he hadn't bumped into anything by accident yet. Fortunately, the road was perfectly straight, stretching forwards and backwards; allowing Ed to either retreat back to the cul-de-sac, or continuing onwards to whatever's beyond the path.

Having the adventurous personality he is, Ed continued onwards.

"Am I the only human here?" Ed loudly murmured to himself, scritching his fluffy red hair in curiosity and confusion. How else could Ed have come to that conclusion, if he had been walking for only seven minutes, after encountering no one else but himself?

Ed continued walking onwards, despite the weird feeling that he was being watched by the shadows itself, despite the fact the ground was far too unnaturally smooth despite being in (presumably) the woods.

Despite the fact that Ed swore that the occasional pinpricks of light that peered through the darkness looks like eyes looking at him. The sheer oddity of the path just screams weird to even Ed of all people, unnerving him slightly and goading him to walk faster.

After eight minutes of walking, the path below Ed starts to become more bumpy and textured and the shadows started to lighten up, allowing Ed to finally see beyond the darkness as he walked further ahead.

After another while, Ed had finally left the shadowy road behind him and stepped into the light, shielding his eyes in discomfort from the sudden change in brightness.

There were trees all around him, reminiscent of the woods a tad, and the shrubbery was wild everywhere. Some trees were still lush with leaves, but dyed with a bright orange color, obviously a sign of autumn quickly approaching.

But the most suspicious thing that caught Ed's intrigue the most was the fact that it was daytime.

While it may sound rather normal, to put it simply why it was so strange; it was three quarters past six back in Peach Creek, and by the time Ed got to the gate, it was already late evening.

Ed checked his smartwatch and glanced at the Peach Creek time; 6:56 p.m.

Ed was immensely confused, "It makes sense, I think…? But why does it say 6:57 when it's daytime where I am here?"

Putting his confusion aside for the time being, Ed started to walk forward in hopes of getting answers.

The scenery was colorful, but rather unfamiliar and disorienting; Ed had walked around back to where he was at least four separate times thanks to most of the trees' being virtually identical to the one next to it.

Ed had resigned to walking straight forwards after a while, his walking-to-whatever's-looks-different strategy obviously not working. Ed sighed in mild confusion, stepping through the trees with a sort of tired confusion and listlessness.

"Wherever I am is pretty…" Ed notes blandly, staring at the bright orange-ish leaves scattered in both the air and the ground.

Walking for the next three minutes was hardly the most exhilarating experience Ed ever had, so Ed, like always, became distracted by literally everything, again.

So it's only natural he walked past through the strange forest and straight into a shrine by accident.

And by walk into, I mean he walked through the walls of a shrine.

In fact, the only thing that even kept Ed in place to prevent him from smashing more walls by accident was that of a strange blue barrier.

"Anatadare?!"

Ed yelped right back to awareness, and that means being aware of a certain angry shrine maiden.

She wore bright red clothing, with a large white collar embroidered with red zigzags and a yellow ribbon tied underneath. A large red dress that extends just pass her knees was also decorated with white zigzags. A large, somewhat frilly ribbon tied back her long, blackish hair into a ponytail with locks of her hair by the side of her face inserted into red hair tubes of sorts. Weirdly, her white sleeves weren't attached her shirt, but rather left detached and kept in place by red ribbons.

Her expressions outright screamed "I'm very angry" and she was biting her lip and clenching her funny stick that's decorated with the same streamers on Ed's key like she was about to scream and fly into a very violent rampage.

"Oi, anatahadare?" the girl barked angrily, obviously upset at the ruined wall with an Ed-shaped hole in front of her and behind Ed himself, she looked like she would literally kill Ed if she didn't have a conscience.

"Ehhh…" Ed enunciated uncertainly, not having even the slightest clue on what she was saying.

Furrowing a brow at him with a scrutinizing glance, the girl leaned her head backwards and shouted so loudly Ed was sure that it left his ears ringing violently.

"YUKARI!"

The tall boy cringed away from her voice, massaging his ears as he does so, "Ow ow ow…"

In the instance the girl yelled out whoever's name, the air right next to the maiden slowly part away more and more until it's about the size of a large park bench. Two red ribbons swiftly tied around the ends of the cleft in the air into an elegant knot before the void filled with with a swirling purple, flecked with bright red eyes, all blinking and staring straight at Ed.

Then before Ed could dwell to long on it, one hand gripped the edge between the gap and the air, then another, hoisting the owner of the hands up and onto the edge.

She had wore a big pale pink dress, falling far past her knees and just above her ankles, with a strange purple tabard decorated with symbols and a yin-yang in the lower left corner right over the dress. She wore a white hat with a red ribbon that reminded Ed vaguely of a shower cap. Long, messy blond hair fall down from under the shower cap—I mean—mob cap where it was loosely tied at the end by the same red ribbons on the weird crack in the air.

Her red eyes were half shut and groggy like she had been woken up rather unpleasantly, but the instant she saw Ed and the key in his hand, her eyes suddenly seemed a lot more attentive.

"Ara, anatadare?~" the woman yawned, holding her slender hand to her mouth to block her yawn.

"Um… I can't understand you." Ed muttered quietly, still poking at his ears in minor discomfort.

"Hmm?" the woman hummed, "anata wa watashitachi o rikai shite inai nodesu ka? Shinpaishinaide, sugu ni shuusei sa reru yoteidesu."

After she finished saying whatever she said, Ed suddenly felt something in his heart and brain clicked together, and he suddenly felt unfamiliar to himself.

"I—ima nani ga atta no?"

* * *

"W—what just happened now?" Ed uttered, unaware that he was now fluent at Japanese somehow.

"Oh, I can understand him now," the woman smiled, "and I suppose you do too, Reimu~?"

"Yeah," the girl, whose name was apparently Reimu, muttered, "and I guess you did something with your boundary power to him, right Yukari?"

"Yep," the woman, Yukari, smiled, "So now, may I please ask who are you?"

"Um, I'm Ed," Ed stuttered, "And where am I? And who are you?"

Yukari smiled a wry smile, and she said, "You're now in Japan, in Gensokyo."

"Gen, so, kyo?..."

* * *

 **Jack's Notes**

 **I'm so evil, leaving you with a cliffhanger, haha XD.**

 **Anyways, here's the moment you all have been waiting for, Ed in Gensokyo. If you're still wondering how Ed knows about Gensokyo, I'll explain it in the next chapter.**

 **Oh, and two things to be on the lookout for.**

 **1\. Ed will have an ability of his own.  
Don't worry, it's nothing too reality-changing, it's a simple one really and I think it's perfect for Ed. If you think you know what it is, PM or put it in the review.**

 **2\. Eddy and Edd will eventually get suspicious and find out Ed's secret.  
Don't you think it's fishy that your friend literally and suddenly disappear off the face of the earth then come back the next day? Yeah, I thought so, the two Eds will figure out his secret somehow, and catch Ed in the act.**

 **And that's pretty much it! So remember to keep those two things in mind when reading the next chapter, okay? Till next time,**

 **Bye bye!**


	4. Epiphanic Moment at an Answer

**Chapter 4: Epiphanic Moment at an Answer**

 _"Hello, students! Welcome to third period History!" the teacher smiled, gently tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear and writing her name on the blackboard as she spoke, "My name is Kiroku Rikeki, but you may call me Ms. Rikeki or just Ms. Ri, and I will be your current substitute teacher for the week!"_

 _Her work outfit was simple and casual; a simple linen colored sweater, with a blue polka dot dress underneath. She also wore a pair of black glasses and shoes. All in all, she looked rather kind and demure, if somewhat soft spoken at times._

 _"Well, she looks nice I guess," Eddy muttered silently, "at least she wouldn't get on our case every time we made a slip up."_

 _Edd hummed, "She does look rather lax when it comes to mistakes, but I suppose it's only because she's our substitute teacher."_

 _"Whatever, no matter how nice and peppy teachers are, school is still boring." Eddy said, already leaning his head on his hand in boredom._

 _"She looks pretty," Ed smiled naively, cheerful as always._

 _"Now, can anyone tell me what country's history are we learning today?" Kiroku asked. Edd's arm immediately shot into the air, "Mister Crawford."_

 _"Japan, more specifically the primary island of Honshu."_

 _"Excellent!" Kiroku praised, Edd smiled bashfully in pride. "Now, since we're primarily learning about the mythology part of Honshu, and there's quite a few honestly, and it's a rather lax school day, can anyone please give me a prompt and I'll tell you the most similar legend."_

 _This time, Ed's hand shot straight up, shocking and surprising a large handful of the students inside the classroom._

 _"Hmm, Mister Christensen?"_

 _"Ooh! Ooh! Can you tell us about a cool place in Japan? Where aliens and monsters and cool people live together and everyone does crazy cool things?" the second Ed finishes his rather outlandish prompt, everyone couldn't help but groaned. Typical Ed._

 _"'A cool place in Japan'... 'Where aliens and monsters and cool people live together'..." Kiroku repeated to herself, tapping her forehead in thought. "Ah! Believe it or not, I actually have a folklore that perfectly fits that description!"_

 _Everyone froze, even Ed._

 _"The folklore I'm talking about is Gensokyo; the Land of Illusions, the Curiosity of the Eastern World." everyone, including even Eddy, leaned forwards, "Legend has it that Gensokyo dwells somewhere in a region around the Yatsugatake Mountains that lies between the Yamanashi Prefecture and the Nagano Prefecture. Gensokyo is not a pleasant place; it was desolate, and not only desolate, but haunted too. Haunted by what, you might ask? Youkai. Youkai, spirits, demons and monsters lurks at every corner, waiting for the chance to spring upon a human and devour them."_

 _The students all shivered, obviously somewhat unnerved._

 _"Eventually, it was deemed far too unsafe for humans to wander through, so the locals named it Gensokyo and deserted the location all at once. However, humans who are brave and skilled at the art of youkai extermination still remain there, engage in exorcism and heroic battles against the demons. The on and off battle between human and youkai continued until 1884, where Gensokyo has somehow been sealed off and away from our scientific world. Since then, Gensokyo has been thriving, populated primarily by youkai, animals and humans._

 _"Many youkais that had still lived in our world has said to migrated to Gensokyo when nowhere else would accept them while others still lived alongside us in secrecy. The number of people who knows about Gensokyo slowly dwindled down, until there was no one else who held the truth, and the legend of Gensokyo disappears into obscurity."_

* * *

 **Jack's Notes**

 **FILLER CHAPTER! But also the explanation on how Ed discover's Gensokyo, so there's that.**


	5. Frantically Frenzied Confusion

**Chapter 5: Frantically Frenzied Confusion**

"Gen, so, kyo?..." Ed uttered, "Wait, you mean _Gensokyo?!_ "

Once Yukari nodded to confirm the truth, Ed started to laughed, giggled and cackled at the realization, jumping and dancing around the spot with giddiness only Ed could have produced if he realized he had found a Japanese wonderland, and not care about his dignity as he does so.

After a minute or two of eccentric dancing, Ed started to slow down and becoming less excitable, but he was obviously still rather animated; still smiling and bouncing on the balls of his foot.

Yukari laughed lightly at his reaction, covering her lips with a folding fan, "Yes. I suppose from your exuberant reaction you're aware of the legend about Gensokyo?"

"That's weird," Reimu remarked, folding her arms, "I thought most Outsiders don't know about Gensokyo."

"Not know about it per se, but rather heard of folklore about it, I'm guessing," Yukari said, "Ed, may I asked you how you came across our legends in the first place?"

Ed frowned and stared skywards in thought, "I think our substitute History teacher talked about it," Ed muttered, scratching his ears, "We were talking about Japan as our unit at the time and well, the subject we were focusing on about at the time was Mythology."

"I see..." Yukari nodded, "Gensokyo was a folktale even back when it was just recently sealed away, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprise that your teacher eventually come across that little old history story."

Yukari then grimaced slightly, "But I'm most concerned about how you got here. As far as I know, from your appearance to your accent to your first language even, you appeared to be hailing from the United States of America. But how could you came to Gensokyo in Japan when you lived more than 10,000 kilometers away on an entirely different country?"

"I went through a weird red gate thing," Ed gestured the vague shape with his hands, "It had a green door in between two big pillars with funny things written around it. It was locked, so I used this key," Ed showed the two females in front of him the strange wooden key. The two girls showed varying degrees of interest; Reimu had appeared to be slightly interested in object in Ed's hand but didn't pursued the subject. While Yukari on the other hand looked shocked and surprised, as though she had been expecting a different answer from Ed. The woman glanced at the key, to Ed, behind him before calming down again, regaining her cool expression, if a little bit more tight and businesslike.

"Ah, I see." Yukari nodded, "Well, now that you're here, Ed, how about a little scenery viewing around Gensokyo?"

Reimu immediately voiced her dissent, "Absolutely not, Yukari!"

Yukari sniffed, almost insulted. "Why Reimu! You didn't even gave me a chance to finish my suggestion."

"I don't need to," Reimu snarled, "I've known you for years, and I know that suggestion will become an order soon enough. He's a kid, and an Outsider to boot! The local youkai will all be too happy to dig into his flesh the second he leaves the last step on the shrine stairs!"

"Honestly, Reimu, you've known Ed here for less than an hour and now you're already worried about him?" Yukari raised an amused eyebrow, "Or do you have a certain fondness for lovable oafs?"

Reimu turned cherry red, "Y-You perverted youkai! It's not like I care about him! I just don't want to be held responsible when he gets himself murdered thanks to your little 'suggestion'!"

"He can take care of himself, with or without your concern. Besides, I don't think you can stop him now." Yukari said in amusement.

"And why's that, huh?"

"He already left the building."

Reimu spun around in shock, seeing the vague little figure of Ed had already ran straight through the red gate and now descending the stone stairs eagerly, obviously itching to discover more of Gensokyo.

"Ah goodness. An eager one isn't he? Well, Reimu, make everyone's eardrums bleed again if you need me~"

 _"Ed! You get back here right now!"_

* * *

Ed cheerfully hummed in glee; He can't believe his luck, he found Gensokyo! Ed happily strolls through the red gate and ran down the steps with anticipation. He jumped right off of the last step and landed on the ground, dashing off straight ahead the second his shoes touched the ground. Ed smiled and hummed to himself, cheerfully strolling through the woods with a certain kind of obliviousness unique to himself.

Ed literally salivated at the thought of the things he'll discover in Gensokyo as he ran through the trees, _"Oh I wonder if I'll meet a ghost, or an alien or a witch or whatever's in here! I'm so ex_ —"

"Y—Yo, watch out!" a tomboy-ish voice yelled out.

"Ah?" Ed, instead of stopping in place like a sane person, merely slowed slightly in place. Which mean whoever cried out that warning ran headlong straight into Ed, which was on par of running into a brick wall.

"Ow!" the person yelped, bouncing off of Ed's body like a basketball with a golden wig and tumbled onto the ground, "Oogh, man oh man, what did I ran into? I think I have a concussion."

"Sorry, lady!" Ed loudly apologized, extending his arm to help the unknown girl up. "Are you seeing funny things and stars?"

"Whuzzat?" the girl asked groggily, "'Funny things'? The only thing I'm seein' is two of you, whoever the hell you are."

"Sorry!" Ed repeated. The girl shook her head and shrugged, "Ah, it's nuthing. I've been through way, way worse. Anyways, where are you going?"

Ed lowered his hand slightly, "I'm going to somewhere safe for humans, some place that has really cool people!"

"Huh. I'd ask you why you want to go to somewhere safe like someone from a cheap, cliche story or something, but I don't have the time right now. The closest, human safe place—of course, not like I'm saying anywhere else is safe for us either—is the Human Village. Just go straight through this place for a bit 'til you see a road, then you just follow that and you should be golden!" after she finished her directions, the girl pointed in the vague direction behind her.

The girl then stood up and dusted the dirt off of her black and white outfit before flicking the witch hat on her head backwards, revealing a yellow mop of hair. With a smile, she introduced herself while holding her broomstick, "Yo there! The name's Marisa Kirisame, your friendly ordinary magician!"

Ed, who would've been yelling in joy once she said the word witch, froze in childish fear once he saw Marisa's hair color. Ed shivered in fright; unpleasant memories of unneeded affections and relentless kisses ran through the oaf's head as he was forcefully been reminded of May Kanker's relentless obsession, shaking harder and harder as each and every moment of horrid kisses was relived unwillingly by Ed's overactive imagination.

"Uh, you okay?" Marisa asked, somewhat concerned, "You look like Yuyuko just saw you as her lunch or something."

"KANKER KISSES!" Ed screamed out in terror, pushing Marisa backwards, "YUCKY, MUSHY GIRL KISSES!"

Marisa flinched back in surprise, watching in confusion as Ed immediately ran straight ahead into a tree, punching a vaguely human shaped hole in the trunk of the poor tree as Ed continued to scream and run through more trees.

"Well, uh, that happened. Did he just ran through a tree? And what the hell is a Kanker Kiss?" Marisa asked to nobody in particular, letting the question float in the air.

* * *

"AAAH! NO MORE YUCKY GIRL GERMS!" Ed screamed in utter fright, so scared of the nonexistent May and by extension, the rest of the Kanker Sisters, that he had regressed back into English in his sudden frenzy.

He ran like mad through the trees—literally—, making a loud ruckus as he did so as every tree that was unfortunate enough to be in Ed's path. Ed yelled and screamed and cried, all with loud gasps in between as a result of running so long and screaming so loud. Eventually, what's left of the smarts of Ed's mind had finally told the rest of the boy's brain that there was no May in the middle of Japan of all places, so no Kanker would be around to assault Ed with needless smooches, making Ed regain his usual placid oafish altitude as he dropped to his knees in exhaustion.

"Hah, Ed is tired now," Ed groaned, "Ed needs his buttered toast and gravy."

Ed hungrily looked around for something to eat, but saw only a small village off in the the distance. He could easily travel the distance on foot, but he felt far too drowsy and tired to do so. His gaze traveled downwards until he saw his watch, so out of instinct, he lifted his wrist to his face and checked the time.

 **7:29 p.m.**

Ed's stomach growled unnaturally, sounding much like a tribal bongo for some reason.

"Ed must eat dinner," Ed chanted to himself, turning back around to walk back to the gate that opened into Peach Creek and his home, "Ed must eat food!"

The boy dashed through the woods, not at the crazy breakneck speed like before, but rather at a more reasonable pace, using his hunger as a bizarre motivation of sorts. Ed lightly jogged through the shadows of the trees, belly growing hungrier and hungrier and Ed feeling more and more malnourished. As Ed ran through the little forest, thoughts popped up and away; can I tell the others about Gensokyo? Would they even believe me?

Eddy has a chance, he might trust him if he said the right thing or if the right person tells the truth, like his brother or something. But he's not here right now, and Ed has no way of logically contacted him.

Edd, on the other hand, adamantly refuses anything that can't be explained through logic or science. He would probably come up with a 100 different reasons how Gensokyo can't exist. Even if someone smart and famous—Karl Schwarzschild, example—says Gensokyo actually exist with detailed evidence why, Edd could just as easily provide a counterargument with five times the amount of evidence.

Ed moaned, all of this thinking was just making him hungrier for food, and all of that speculating doesn't has a double function of food. Ed hurried faster, seeing the stone stairs that led up to the shrine was just entering his sight.

The boy broke out into an all out run a second later, letting his back droop far back down as Ed hungrily drooled for food at his house. Dashing up the stone stairs, Ed darted right through the red shrine gate and into the shrine, where Ed saw Marisa and Reimu talked over tea. Reimu saw Ed entering the shrine out of the corner of her eye and angrily swivels around to meet him.

"And where have you've been?!" Reimu snapped furiously, Ed stopped in place but still hold his hands over his snarling abdomen, which has now develop a regular chorus of growls, "You had some nerve, leaving before I could tell what to do if you wanted to leave!"

"Woah there, Reimu! You know this kid or something?" Marisa interjected in confusion. Reimu answered with a quick one, "Yeah, he came from the grove of trees behind the shrine a couple minutes ago."

"Come on guys!" Ed whimpered in hunger, "I need to eat bad bad, really bad!"

Seeing the plate of mochi right on Reimu's tea table made Ed salivate. Unable to restrain his hunger, Ed swiftly snatched the plate away, much to Reimu and Marisa's surprise, and dashed off towards the tree grove behind the shrine.

Quickly dashing through the hole he made earlier—and enlarging it further, much to Reimu's chagrin and Marisa's amusement—, Ed dove madly towards the direction of the gate between Peach Creek and Gensokyo, snacking on one mochi on the plate as he does so.

"Ed! Get back here, give me back my food and fix the door, dammit!" Reimu shouted at the Ed, Marisa watched the little figure of Ed disappears into the shadows of trees and casually remarks, "I don't think he can hear ya now, Reimu."

"I swear, it's all your fault sometimes, Marisa."

"Oi, and what's that suppose ta mean?"

Ed dashed through the forest, sending leaves below his foot flying into the air as he does so, eating another mochi as he does so. The surrounding lights soon fade out and replaced by the familiar pitch black shadow, with the floors beneath him flattening out to near perfection. At this point his hunger can no longer be sated by a single mochi at a time, so Ed had dumped the piles of mochi—plate included—into his mouth, effortlessly gulping it down his gullet, holding it at bay for a few moments.

Ed, fortunately, didn't have to travel for long, considering he ran for most of the distance between the door and the shrine, as the familiar shadowy shape of the door comes into sight. The boy screeched to a stop and stretched his arms out to feel the door; wooden and old feeling.

"Yeah! This is the right door!" Ed cheered. He shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling around for the wooden key and grabbing it once he got his finger around it. He shoved the key into the door frantically into the keyhole, unlocking it and swung it open, causing the soft evening light to hit Ed in the face as he do so.

Ed smiled at the familiar sight; same leaves, same trees, same shadows even! I'm home!

"And Ed's stomach wants food from home!"

* * *

 **Jack's Notes**

 **Ahhh, two chapters in a week, you people are lucky (or not, depending how you see this chapter) XD.**

 **This is one of my longest chapter yet! I tried to write this one with more thought and focus on Ed's general personality and view, so I had written this one with a bit more surrealism and comedy. I don't think I nailed it very well, you guys tell me what you think of it and what to improve, okay?**

 **I had to cut off the end a little bit because I don't people to think that I'm drawing the chapter longer just for the sake of having a long chapter, hell I think I'm drawing it out longer than needed myself.**

 **Anyways, no warning and heads up for today, I'm planning to make the next couple chapters a bit more straightforward. Of course, Ed getting his ability and Edd and Eddy eventually discover Ed's secret will come soon, just in like a couple extra chapters or so.**

 **Anyways, until next time, bye bye!**


	6. The Peaceful Routines of Weekdays

**Chapter 6: The Peaceful Routines of Weekdays**

Inserting the key into the keyhole, Ed swiftly locked it with a twist of his wrist, before swiftly pulling it back and stashing the key away.

Twirling back to the door, Ed proclaimed with a boisterous wave, "Bye bye, Gensokyo~! I'll come back again soon, I swear...!"

With that, Ed turned, leaving the green door behind as he jogged off into the dim and shadowy forest passage.

Jogging through the darkness with his trademark romp, Ed cleared the dim forest passage in mere moments.

"Oh, boy...!" Much to his joy, the woods became familiar once more, no longer black but once again lit with the dim blue of the cul-de-sac's forestry in the late evening.

A grumble emanated from his stomach. "Oh. Oh, no...!" Bending forward, Ed gave his stomach an almost disbelieving stare of examination.

Snapping back up, he sprinted. "Food! Food need food for Ed—"

Stumbling, Ed lost his footing and twirled around from a loose, awkward rock he'd trodded over. "Waah! Mayda~y, mayda~y...!"

In his clumsy, twirling fall, he'd continued forward from the impossible momentum only he could obtain—

Wood planks flew, cracked in half and scattered about as he fell through one of the fences into the lane outside the cul-de-sac.

Sliding onto his side, Ed began rolling on the dirt. "Oof...!"

Within a moment, he'd rolled into a street light, a hollow bell-like noise ringing out from it on impact. "Ooh!" ...After a moment, he looked up at the street light, smiling dopily. "Hello, mister street light! You'd've never guessed where I've been...!"

His one-sided conversation finished, he got up and continued to sprint towards his home, using the dim orange glares of the street lights to guide him through the monochrome blue evening.

Ed thoughtlessly knocked the door with his knuckles, creating loud bangs not too unlike gunshot as he does so, startling the poor unsuspecting residents of the street.

As Ed about to bang on the door again, one of the residents inside unlocked the door from the other side and opened it up with a grumble, "You people know what time it is?!"

"Sarah!"

"Ed?!" Ed's sister leered at him with a disproportionately wrathful glare, itching to know where he had vanished to, "Where in the flying heck are you?! You were gone and no one knew where you are!"

"I was at this cool place called Gensokyo!" Ed blurted out cheerfully.

Sarah sized him up before scoffing, "Yeah right, and I believe in flying monsters! Gensokyo doesn't exist, you moron! Now tell me the truth!"

Ed's stomach rumbled before he could retort back. _'Oh… oh, food! Ed need food for Ed!'_

He bolted forward through the door—

"Ah—hey~…!" In his wake, Sarah was left spinning like a ballerina mid-move as he charged into the house.

...A moment later, the girl regained herself and stomped to the dining room. "Hey! I asked you where you were! And the Gensokyo thing is a total lie! Come back here and tell me the _truth, Ed!_ "

Gorging himself on an uncooked chicken from the refrigerator, Ed was far too lost in his gluttony to actually hear the angered Sarah. "Mmm— omh—nom, omh…"

...Livid and seething, Sarah stomped up to him and raised a fist.

Such is why Ed was knocked out cold unconscious in the middle of seven o' clock with a chicken breast in his mouth.

* * *

In six o' clock a.m., the morning sun rises in the direction of Ed's basement window, illuminating the room.

Ed drooled on the bed with a smile on his face, oblivious to his untimely defeat the other evening.

As the sleeping boy continued to snore, the bright sun rose over the horizon, shining light through the window and onto the slumbering Ed...

Turning away from the sun, Ed reluctantly mumbled, "Oka~y, now going up, very angry baby siste~r..."

...Ed stiffly pushed himself up from his rotten mattress, yawning drowsily. "Hooa~h…"

"Ah, what a good dream yesterday," giggled the still somewhat-out-of-it Ed, "a witch, a shrine maiden... and a funny door! What a cool dream…!"

Ed continued to giggle to himself, living out what his mind perceived as a far off fantasy, like a memory too far away to be clearly remembered.

After a moment of useless giggling, Ed stood up to prepare for school.

As he does so, however, his mind suddenly seared in agony, screaming with a pain he never remember getting, Ed temporarily stuttered in consciousness as he stumbled drunkenly around, feeling like he had been laced with a space drug while being shoved on a roller coaster at the same time. Spinning around like a deranged top, Ed clattered into his conveniently placed armchair, holding a hand to his temple.

"Did the Martian Aliens experimented with my head?" Ed slurred, accusing some random nonexistent beings once again. Head twinging with sudden pain, Ed tried to carefully set himself up standing, gently standing up on one foot before propping himself up on another daintily.

Carefully making his way to the door, Ed gently pushed the door open with his hand, head still groaning in pain.

"Uwaahh~..." Ed groaned in pain, still placing a palm on his temple to no avail, "My head huur~ts!"

Leaning onto the door frame to wait for the headache to take its course and pass, Ed started to reminisced.

He had remembered yesterday's school events, the same old lessons by the same old people: Homeroom. Math. Physical Education. Woodworking. Cooking. Art. History—

No, wait… Ms. Molisee was still sick, so we still have a substitute teacher for today.

"Hooray!" Ed moved abruptly, raising his arms up at high speed, making the headache kicking back again at full force, "Ow…"

—Weakly trudging through the door, Ed hobbled up the stairs and into the main corridor of the house, preparing himself for school day.

As he scrambled halfheartedly around, Ed's headache slowly dissipated away, leaving him to working a bit more lucidly and less like stumbling wherever the situation calls for it, and then it disappeared altogether entirely.

...While Ed gathered his things for the school day, he couldn't help but let his attention float away to the woods. More specifically, the part where the door to Gensokyo supposedly located at.

"Aah~," Ed hummed, "It will be so cool if it wasn't a dream."

Staring at the woods a bit more in chaotic and disordered thought, Ed regained himself and started to look for his book bag.

Ed had eventually located it on one of the sofas in the living room, waiting faithfully for Ed to pick it up.

Picking it up and planting it on his back, Ed started to fumble around his pockets for some pocket money for lunch. What he found, instead, was a familiar texture; wooden, grainy and mystical feeling.

Startled, Ed tugged it straight out of his pocket and stared at it intently.

It was the wooden key from earlier. It didn't looked bent up or damaged in any way; it was just as new the day Ed discovered it in his pocket.

Not that Ed remembered about it anyways, thanks to a concussion courtesy of Sarah and his already-small brain.

"Oh hello, mister wooden stick key," Ed smiled obliviously, "Where did you come from?"

After not hearing a response back, Ed merely smiled again and pocketed the key back into his jacket pocket, resuming his cheerful expression as he did so.

Lazing about the spot, Ed hummed and bounced on his toes, not doing anything particularly noteworthy besides staring out the window to the woods every few minutes.

After the hands on the clock in the living room hit 7:33, Ed bounded off the spot with remarkable agility for his size, opening the door and locking it on the way out as he did so.

Skipping through the street with a jaunty spring in his steps, Ed tottered off to the bus stop to see, without much surprise, Edd and Eddy already there, engaged in talking.

"Geez, Lumpy, you sure took your sweet time." Eddy said sarcastically before returning to conversation with Edd.

Not showing any signs that he heard Eddy's remark, Ed waved cheerfully, "Hi guys! Did you know I went to Gensokyo?"

The two other Eds stopped socializing with each others and stared at him in unison, scaring Ed slightly with how orderly they suddenly acted.

"Uh, Ed," Eddy started with a sheepish look on his face, "You do know that Gensokyo doesn't really exist, right?"

"And to say youkai and spirits, if we're discussing about Gensokyo, exists, is just preposterous." Edd added with a blunt voice.

"But, it's true!" Ed protested, walking up to them. "I really—"

"Lemme guess, was Sarah mad at you again for the millionth time?" Eddy guessed, annoyed, "God, that squirt is just a pain in the neck sometimes. I dunno how you and yer parents managed to put up with her."

"Let's be fair here, Eddy, Ed's parents are more impartial to Sarah, for a lack of better word." Edd reasoned.

"Guy~s!" Ed insisted, "I'm serious! I _did_ went to Gensokyo!"

"Okay there, Monobrow," Eddy deadpanned, "If you really _did_ went to Gensokyo, where's yer proof huh?"

"Umm…" Ed faltered at that, uncomfortably wriggling around, "Well, I…"

"Yeah, I figured." Eddy scoffed.

Ed sighed, leaving the subject alone for now before regaining his peppy mood, "Hey guys! Did I mentioned Sarah saw my head as a punching bag last night?"

Before any of them could respond to him, the bus pulled right up to the stop, opening the doors up for the three boys to board the vehicle.

Stepping onto the bus, Eddy fired superficial banter at Edd as usual, such as scams, women, magazine, scams and back again, and Edd snarked back with a counter for his claim, while Ed had occasionally peppered in the conversation with his usual brand of Ed wit-ism.

"What scam should we work on for today?" Eddy brainstormed, drumming his index finger against his head.

"Shouldn't you be focusing on academic works instead? But then again, I suppose it's futile trying to persuade you to think about something other than swindling poor unsuspecting people and staring at scantily clad women." Edd deadpanned.

"Scaredy cat women?" Ed misheard, tilting his head, "Eddy likes swindling scaredy cat women?"

"Err, don't think too much about it Ed." Edd hastily said, steering the conversation away from any more perverted topics.

After that, Eddy had then talked about females in the Peach Creek area.

"Man, Nazz is so smoking hot as always~!"

"I'm fairly sure every male is infatuated with her, myself included."

Then the conversation moved to scams, again.

"Hey Double-D, what're your ideas for a scam?" Eddy turned to his sock-hatted friend.

"Hmm… What do you think about opening a tutoring business for—"

"Okay, just forget I say anything."

Then it moved to Kanker Sisters.

"Oh yikes, forgot we have Homeroom with them." Eddy shuddered.

"That is concerning, but thankfully, they're not as infatuated with us when we're in the safety of our school." Edd exhaled.

"Kanker kisses isn't good for Ed… Waa~h…" Ed whined.

And so this on and off cycle of conversation continued well after they were dropped off to school.

"Oh yeah right, we still have a substitute teacher instead of Ms. Molisee. What's her name… Ri, Ri…" Eddy stuttered.

"Ms. Kiroku Rikeki." Edd clarified helpfully.

"Yeah, her."

Ed hummed, "I want to learn more about Gensokyo, it sounds cool~."

The two saner Eds sighed.

Eddy walked through the corridor leading up to their homeroom, with the other two close behind before pausing in place, "Oh yikes, I forgot to do today's math homework, Mr. Boutilier's going to get on my case big time."

"And by forgot, I'll assume you mean 'omitted it for the sake of duping innocent cul-de-sac inhabitants for their pocket money'," Edd said bluntly. Sighing in mild annoyance, he said, "Very well, I'll let you copy my homework. But honestly, it'll do us both a world of good if you actually care to pay attention to the lesson…"

Ed whistled cheerfully right behind them, engrossed in his own world of comic books and aliens as he pranced behind the two.

The Eds finally came to Room 212 and opened the door up, entering and closing it as they took their seats. Eddy saw Lee Kanker blew a kiss at him and shuddered in response.

Thankfully, it was the only amorous act coming from Lee as the Advisory teacher/Principal entered the homeroom and started on the day's schedule.

"Hello class!"

"Hello Mr. Antonucci." the classroom chorused back monotonously.

"Now, since today is Tuesday, it means workday to catch up on all of your homework and assignments, so now you may start working!"

Edd pulled out a book labeled 'A Japanese Miscellany' out from his messenger bag and started to flick through the pages, absorbing every word with ease while sliding Eddy his math homework.

And then the class became silent and subdue as they each individually worked on their schoolwork, while others merely read a book in the meantime.

After forty minutes of working on various school related task, the bell rang out noisily, signalling the passing period as it did so.

"And there's the end of Advisory!" Mr. Antonucci smiled, "So now you're all dismissed!"

The students then trickled slowly out through the door, with a handful of pushing and shoving involved as they did so, before there was no one else left in the room.

* * *

After the end of school rolls around, the Eds and a few others boarded the bus.

Door closing after the last passenger—Rolf—boarded on the bus, the yellow automobile revved up and started to make it's way back to Rethink Avenue.

"Oh jeez, thanks Sockhead," sighed Eddy, "I owe you a soda; your homework was a friggin' lifesaver."

"It's nothing, Eddy," Edd muttered, still engrossed in a Japanese Miscellany, "But I would still be happy if you would bother to learn about our subjects in the first place…"

"Tuesday is a good day for fire~." Ed hummed cheerfully, watching the scenery flickered by.

"Where did that came from?" Eddy asked, raising a blank eyebrow.

"What? What did I say? I forgo~t." Ed smiled innocently, already forgetting about what he had said.

"Never mind, Lumpy," Eddy grunted, "I forgot you have a brain the size of a freaking peanut."

"Okay, Eddy~!"

"Tell us something we don't know, Dorky." Kevin scoffed.

"Gheh, why would I need to?" Eddy snorted, "Give ya more reasons to throw insults at us?"

"You read my mi~nd." smirked Kevin.

"What the—I was just joking!"

"Eddy, I recommend you should stay quiet," Edd suggested without even moving his eyes from the book, "I'm sure you wouldn't want to degrade your—and our's, by extension—reputation further than needed."

"Hmph, whatever." Eddy grunted, turning away from the nastily smiling jock.

Ed had felt rather warm and active today. Everything is very red today. Tuesday is a good day for fire.

* * *

Rinse, wash and repeat. Nothing more and nothing less.

Ed's morning routine was exactly what it was yesterday. He got up. Left his room. Looked around for his book bag that was literally right in front of him. Waited. Then left the house.

There, as he walked across the slowly brightening street in the sunrise, Ed founded his attention floated to the woods more times than he had normally done.

Ed thought deep into this, but in a rather childish manner, "Is there a portal to the Andromeda Galaxy where the yellow haired aliens live?"

"Is there a portal where it leads to a place ghosts lives?"

"Is there a portal to a city to the moon?"

"Is there a secret place where weird horn aliens live?"

Ed breathed more and more questions into the air as he did so, each becoming more and more outlandish than the past one.

"Is there a portal that leads to a place where there's an upside down castle?"

"Is there a world where moon people lives?"

"Is there a monster who can change reality?"

Before Ed could fling out more questions with dubious answers, Eddy called out from his right, "Yo Monobrow!"

Ed turned around in expectation, waving and flapping his arms like a chicken before frowning at a certain sight.

Edd was gone; the familiar sight of the smart boy's nose in the book wasn't there next to Eddy like Ed had anticipated.

Ed opened his mouth, "What happened to Double-D, Eddy?"

Eddy stared around, as if looking for eavesdroppers, "The dude's sick," Eddy said bluntly, "Sick as a board—Actually, that's not how you say it. Must be down with the flu or something."

The conman sighed, "Sockhead's gonna freak once school kicks off. And I needed his homework too."

Ed frowned, feeling silent and lonely, "I miss Double-D already."

"The dude's not dead, he's just sick." Eddy corrected with a frown, "But that is a scary thought."

The bus pulled up to the stop, and the remaining two Eds was all too happy to board it to leave behind their depressing train of thought.

"Yo Monobrow," Eddy said, surprisingly quiet, "I, uh, can't believe I'm saying this, but what ideas do you have for a scam?"

"Don't have a~ny~." Ed shrugged, kicking the seat in front of him while blankly staring out at the window.

"Figures."

So the bus ride had been rather tame the entire way to school.

During their Homeroom class—

"Strange. Where is Mr. Crawford?" ... Mr. Antonucci enquired curiously.

"Sick as a rat." Eddy piped up nonchalantly, hands behind head like he had been expecting that question.

…the man frowned, "If it was Eddward Crawford I know, he would have pushed himself up to go to school no matter how sick he was. I suppose even the most studious of students falls victim to the law of averages too."

"No matter, we'll just have to press on. Now, today's schedule will include a lockdown drill, while...—"

As the man spoke and droned on about the day's event, Ed had already tuned out the principal with a cheerful smile, already too focused on whatever thoughts streaking around his mind rather than the schedule of today's event.

* * *

By the time the end of school rolls around, Ed walked home for the day merely because he was bored of the atypical mode of returning home.

Well, that's not it. He didn't really say that. It would be more accurate to say, "I want to walk home because I wanna think about cool stuff in the woods".

Ed hummed, trudging through the sidewalk with an amiable grin on his face, feeling as though he had awakened from a long nap, even though he was feeling more energized than refreshed.

The skies up ahead started to darkened, not just color but brightness as well. Feeling the atmosphere suddenly becoming dampered, Ed merely plowed ahead with a smile, unwilling to let the sky ruin his day just with clouds.

As he reached closer to his home street, the air had grown damp and wetter, until the surrounding was heavy with raindrops all together.

Dripping down on Ed's feathery hair, it slowly soaked him while Ed himself looked up, as if unaware that the sky had rained until recently.

"The rain feels nice today," Ed said contemplatively. Holding his hand out and watching the rain hit his palm.

Ed sees the light glances off the water, bouncing off and brightly glowing like stars, before dropping to the earth like falling ones.

"Pretty, it looks like I'm at the Far-Off Galaxy of Robot Rebel Ranch." Ed awed, seeing the array of jewel-like rain falling around him.

Feeling renewed and and refreshed, Ed walked peacefully back to home, no matter how drenched he is as a result of standing out in the rain for so long.

Ed felt silent and purified, with raindrops falling around him today. Wednesday is a good day for water.

* * *

Thursday rolls around, and Ed felt rather like he had grown more in one way.

Well, not to say he's rapidly approaching puberty, but he's getting there.

His morning routine still remained unchanged. You get out of bed, and find vaguely school related items before putting it in your book bag, and then you sling that over your shoulder.

Ed had still had the key in his pocket, partially forgotten, but still remembered, if the way how Ed's hand was shoved into the jacket pocket where the key had dwelled was any particular indication.

Bouncing off through the door, breaking it in the process and sending wood flying everywhere, Ed pinballed off the ground and uncurled in midair like a humanoid flower, brimming with life.

Ed skipped across road carelessly, too full of life to care about the puddles left behind by the rain where it might have made him slip and crash down on his behind.

Sending water flying everywhere as he jumped up and down from puddle to puddle, Ed didn't even care when it had soaked his jeans from the knee down.

Eventually, Ed had rounded the corner where the bus stop was stationed, where he was greeted with the sight of Eddy reading one of his rather candid magazine while Edd was facing pointedly the other way with his nose deep into the book.

Wait, Edd?!

It wasn't the Edd Ed knew. Edd had looked like a horrible mess; he looked like he had somehow lost five pounds in just the span of twenty four hour, his eyes were all sunken, shrunken and surly like he had been tormented in more than ten ways, and his lips were crooked and angular in a deep and gruff frown.

Ed broke out into a ear-to-ear grin; Double-D's back!

Dashing at the two in glee, the oaf tackled Edd in a nasty hug, smiling and kicking his legs like mad while crushing the unsuspecting Edd under his arms, making the sockheaded boy spluttered and gasp madly, scratching to get away from Ed while Eddy had watched from the side in bewilderment.

"Double-D, you're back, you're back!" Ed chanted loudly, shaking Edd up and down.

"Y—Yes, I'm back, Ed," Edd choked, cheeks turning purple at an alarming rate, "Now can you please free me from your odiferous embrace before you snap my vertebrae and suffocate me to death at the same time?"

Ed complied all-too-happily, breaking his grip on Edd as he dropped down in pain, hacking roughly in pain before Edd blearily wiped his nose with the back of his hand, sniffling slightly.

"You're back," Ed whispered childishly, repeating the phrase to himself like Edd will disappear if he dared to stop, "You're back you're back you're back."

"Yes, I'm fine Ed," Edd said hoarsely, coughing afterward, "I have been infected with a case of influenza yesterday, so it's nothing you should be too alarmed over."

Ed grinned; he looked like he was about to burst out laughing and crying at the same time. Eddy took notice and questioned.

"Woah, there, Horsemouth," Eddy remarked, "What had you so bouncy and being a drama queen today? Yer Mom hug you for the first time in a decade or something?

"I dunno," Ed remarked, rubbing his head slightly, "I just felt like I've been napping forever, then I just had like a big wake up call from life, or something."

"Geez, no wonder you're so, uh, supon—sup—" Eddy muttered, tripping over his word as he tried to pronounce it correctly.

"Spontaneous?" Edd chipped in helpfully.

"Yeah, that."

'Whatever~ I'm so happy Double-D's back with us~." Ed hummed happily.

"It's only for a day." Eddy pointed out sarcastically, but relieved glare in his eyes told anyone paying close attention that he was relieved and happy Edd was back among them.

The bus pulled up to the stop soon after, opening up the door as Edd closed the book to engage in conversation with Eddy.

"What did I miss yesterday, Eddy?

"Eh. The only thing I remember is the boring lockdown drill from yesterday. You should be happy you're sick, the rest of the day was boring as hell."

"But academics are one's highest life priorities!"

"If so, then why do they give us weekends off, huh?"

"...touché, Eddy…"

The bus took off after Edd took his seat, driving down the street at a leisurely pace, scattering leaves through the air with its' turbulence.

"Hey, Double-D?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do you look like crap?"

"My, Eddy, no punches pulled there. Well, if you really wish to know, I was infected with influenza, so that had interfered with my ability to attend school. I was rather, erm, shook up about it, in a lack of better term, so I didn't got a very good rest of sleep last night."

Edd examined his somewhat shaky hands, "I'm still not completely rejuvenated, but I'm at least better than I was yesterday."

Edd continued to stare placidly at his hands before Eddy snickered, "W—What?"

"Jeez, Sockhead," Eddy said amusingly, "I just wanna know why you're looking like you just saw a horror movie, not to know so that I can be a doctor giving ya a check up."

Edd chuckled, "Well, it's best if you know the details. Couldn't hurt to know what ails your comrades."

"Sockhead, two things. One, I'm not a doctor. Two, there's a reason why people said 'Too Much Information' online."

Ed cheerfully stared out at the window of the bus, humming as the winds blew past the bus, taking the leaves along wherever it'll go.

Strangely, the wind had reminded him of something rather strange for the past week, but Ed, for the life of him couldn't figure out what was off, no matter how hard he screwed up his mind to figure it out.

He still hold his thinking pose—which was Ed's index fingertip in his mouth with eyes staring skywards blankly. Eddy had said he looked stupid, but Ed didn't care; he was too engrossed in thinking to care.

It wasn't until halfway through History did Ed figured it out.

"I didn't wear any underwear this week guys!"

Everybody froze in place.

"Ed, that's repulsive."...Edd said after a shocked silence.

"You know what. Forget what I said about 'TMI' with your flu. This is even worse."

"Wha~t?" Ed smiled innocently, "Did you guys—"

"No! Don't say anything!" the class cried in unison, already knowing what he was about to say.

"Okay!"

* * *

"Ed, don't ever say anything about your undergarments again!" Edd cried shrilly as they boarded the bus, "We don't want you to plague our thoughts with horrid visages of your malodorous underwear!"

"Plack?" Ed repeated idiotically, "Like on my teeth?"

"Plague! Plague! Not the bacterial film on one's teeth!"

"Oh, okay! What are we talking about again?"

Edd groaned forlornly, pinching the bridge of his nose in tiredness, "Sometimes, I think your stupidity is a curse for me, dearest Ed."

"Okay!" Ed chirped for the umpteenth time, already forgetting about Edd's statement once the bus turned on the next corner in the street, bringing them from the school street and through the Business District.

"Large-Brained Ed Boy!" Rolf yelled loudly from the other end of the bus, waving half of a fish on a stick in the air excitedly.

"Yes?" Edd called back loudly.

After Rolf repeated, "Large-Brained Ed Boy", Edd turned to Ed sheepishly.

"Ed, not to impose too much, but can you please get me to Rolf's side?" Edd asked, rubbing his arms slightly.

Ed raised an OK sign, "Okei, Daburu-Di!"

The redhead placed a hand on the back of Edd's shirt, and lifted him up into the air, where Edd had gained an alarmed face.

"Wait, not like this—!"

—Before he could protest further, the Ed founded himself sailing through the air like a plane, landing conveniently right next to the foreign Rolf.

"W—Why hello Rolf," said the somewhat startled Edd.

"Hello, Wind-Riding Genius Ed Boy," Rolf smiled pleasantly, acting like humans had flew through the air had been a common occurrence.

While the two had started onto interesting conversation topic, Ed had turned to looking out of the window, seeing the red and brown leaves streaking by the road as the bus left the Business District and into Rethink Avenue.

A minute went by, and Ed found himself instinctively reaching into his pockets clutching the key unlocking the door in his jacket rather tightly, refusing to relinquish his grasp on it like it'll melt into the air once he'll release his grip.

"Yo Monobrow," Eddy said, "Whatcha holding in yer pocket? Your hand looks kinda tense."

"Uh?" Ed uttered dazedly, staring at Eddy confusedly, "What am I holding in my pocket? Hmm…"

Ed stared at his own hand in pocket in thought, as though (and probably did) he didn't knew how it got there in the first place. A beat ticked by and Ed goes, "Oh~!" in understanding.

Ed tugged the wooden key out of his pockets, raising it up into the air like it was the Holy Grail.

Eddy raised an eyebrow.

"What's that piece of junk you got there this time? Kinda looks like some kinda key."

"Oh, I don't know," Ed said, staring at the curious object in his hand, "I just found it in my pocket on Tuesday morning, I think."

"Eh, must be some kinda junk you picked up on Monday or something," Eddy shrugged, "Who cares though? Is not my problem."

"Maybe." Ed hummed uncertainly, staring at key in interest before stashing it back into his jacket pocket just as the bus pulled up to the street bus stop, dropping the students off to their home.

As the three Ed stooges walked on back home.

"Hey Double-D!" Eddy asked Edd, "What did Rolf gossiped about?"

"Well," Edd smiled secretively, "It's nothing particularly scandalous, but it's simple folk remedies for general ailments that makes scientific sense."

"Aw," Eddy groaned, "Was hoping it was some juicy gossip to pass around."

Edd's smile turned a lot more wry and sarcastic, "I don't think I need to pass around any tittle-tattle in particular; you're practically a giant walking living gossip, Eddy."

Eddy smiled and stuck his nose up into the air, "I'll take that as a compliment, thank you very much,"

Edd's smiled flatted out into a groan, "Oh predictable."

"Don't ya mean, precious?"

"Again, predictable."

And so this little chorus of witty sly insults and cheerful misinterpretations went back and forth in a circle.

Ed didn't mind it of course; Edd and Eddy always does that at random so he never really was fazed by it.

That and he was a little too intent on what was beyond the woods to really care so he had ignored it for now.

Ed's attention slowly drifted from the shadowy greenery of the woods to the brightly dyed wildflowers scattered around the grassy ground, brimming with life at a strange time.

Ed felt lifeful and awakened. With the flora scattered around. Thursday is a good day for wood.

* * *

School is closed for the week on Friday, apparently for minor remodeling and maintenance for a couple of classrooms and hallways.

Not that Ed or the other adolescents except for Edd really cared; it merely gives them an excuse to skip school without getting chewed out by their parents.

But that was just one thing that went good on that day, there were multiple more reasons for Ed to call that Friday the best Friday of his life.

Ed had founded a lot of loose pennies that day Edd had counted three dollars and forty worth in cents, so they had splurged on a large boxful of heavenly confectionery called jawbreakers.

During their feast on the sweets of sweets, Ed had went above and beyond by ingesting two jawbreakers at once, making him resembled amusingly like a chipmunk, as pointed out helpfully by Eddy.

"Wow Ed, you're suppose to eat one at a time, not gulping on two together." Eddy said sarcastically, licking his sugar coated fingers after he was done with his jawbreakers.

"I'm not sure if that safe, Ed," Edd warned, "You might suffocate on them by accident if you're not careful."

"Pshaw, the dude'll be fine," Eddy waved off dismissively, "Ed basically have an all purpose throat, for God's sake, he'll swallow a freaking plate whole and he'll still laugh like he just breathed helium."

"Fair enough," Edd conceded begrudgingly, "But still, with sweets as large as this one must maintain some form of caution."

"Okay, Double-D," Ed nodded obediently, gulping the jawbreaker down without breaking a single drop of sweat, ironically validating Eddy's sarcastic statement.

"See?" Eddy deadpanned, "Not even hurting a little."

Edd groaned, "I'm surrounded by anomalies and oddities for human beings."

Ed smiled innocently and picked at his teeth, singing a cheesy, tuneless ditty as he stared up into the blue expanse of the sky.

"Oh look! A quarter!" ...As Ed bent down to pick up the aforementioned silvery coin, Eddy swooped down and snatched it away before Ed could even try to blink.

"Mine! Any quarters I see'll be mine!" Eddy barked greedily, cradling the twenty five cents in his hand.

"Greedy as ever." Edd noted dryly, unsurprised, "And you didn't even see it until Ed points out it's existence."

Eddy ignored it and continued to examine the coin in his hand.

Ed didn't even processed Edd's statement or the fact that the quarter had been stolen by Eddy, only the fact that there was someone with blond hair and an umbrella was staring at him carefully, seeing even the smallest of muscle twitches, concealed safely in the shadows cast down by the trees.

"Yo Lumpy, you saw something? You've been looking at the woods forever now." Eddy remarked. Ed shook himself back to awareness.

"Huh? I saw something? The only thing I saw is…" Ed turned back to the trees in confusion, only to saw whoever was examining him was long gone.

"S—She's gone." Ed uttered, pinching his eyebrow in curiosity.

"Who's gone?" Eddy asked, pocketing the quarter into his pants.

"Uhm nobody. I think I must've thought her up. She's weird and scary though."

Ed stood up, startling his friends, "You guys mind if I leave? I wanna go explore the woods."

"Uh, sure," Eddy scratched his head sheepishly, "Not sure if you'll find anything new there, though; is pretty small and that."

Ed smiled cheerfully, "I'm sure I'll find something eventually, just you wait and see!"

Waving back to a somewhat subdue duo of Edd and Eddy, Ed scampered off away from the Shopping District in a happy-go-lucky attitude, nimbly weaving around the falling leaves and the lazing about neighborhood kids, incurring minor curiosity and annoyance from them.

Trotting through the shadows with a certain kind of carefreeness, Ed bounced through the trees of the woods happily, uncaring of where he'll lead himself.

After a few minutes fruitless wanderings through the woods, Ed had stumbled upon an obscurely familiar shadowy pass where it had lead to seemingly nowhere, stirring his curiosity.

It was dark, almost unnaturally so; it was if Ed stuck his hand in even a foot away he can't see it dark; it was if Ed thrown a pebble in even a little it'll be lost forever dark; it was if Ed had wandered in even just a little, all light from the other side would fade away and Ed would never come out again dark.

If Ed had even the tiniest semblance of common sense, the darkness alone was more than enough to trigger multiple red flags in his mind to run away and never come back there again.

Maybe it was curiosity, maybe it was stupidity, or maybe it was just a mere feeling of being adventurous, but Ed had walked into the pass without even a scrap of hesitance.

"Oo~h," Ed whistled, "Is so dark, and echo-y! Hello~!"

The path echoed back, "Hello~!"

Ed giggled loudly and the pass giggled back.

After a bout of giggling, talking and chattering, Ed had stepped away from where he was standing and started the beginning of his voyage through the shadow pass.

"La la la la," Ed hummed, "I wonder where I'll be."

Strangely, he felt rather peaceful, despite the fact he would be absolutely unnerved and scared on the other way around. Not that Ed cares, of course.

After a minute of walking through the passage aimlessly, the late afternoon light was slowly piercing through the shadows, lighting more of the road the further Ed walked.

Eventually, the surroundings lit up all at once, blinding Ed and forcing him to shield his eyes, cowering away from the flash as his eyes slowly readjusted to the luminosity.

After a moment or two, Ed slowly unshielded his eyes, gently reopening them to the light as he did so.

"Ow, did I saw a big ol' flash bomb went off in front of me~?" Ed gurgled, blinking and scratching at his eyes, still seeing vaguely colorful spots darting around in his vision.

Slapping at his head like slapping a fly, Ed shook left and right quickly, rattling his head's content like a baby rattler.

After a moment of useless reorientation, Ed gently waded forward to the main object of his focus.

It was a familiar red structure that he felt like he had seen before.

Stepping forward to examine it, Ed gently guided his palm over the wooden surface of the door in the center to see if there's anything alien about it, or why it was so familiar.

It was as normal feeling in texture as a normal door; grainy and carved out with small ridges all over the door, with a brass-like door handle placed closely to where the doors meet.

Ed rubbed his head to see what was so familiar about it, only to pull a blank when he can't.

"Maybe aliens have brainwashed my mind so that I can't remember where I had been when I went through that door," Ed theorized.

...No, that's not it.

Ed scratched his head, already confused and he hadn't even went through the door yet!

Kicking the wooden door to vent out a bit of his minor and small frustration, Ed huffed into the air, staring into the big blue firmament of the sky.

Staring into the sky had strained Ed's eyes aplenty, so he had slide down on the door and shoved his hands into his pockets.

After a moment ticked by, Ed had a craving to read a comic. Digging into his jacket pockets for any visual novels he may have jammed in there as an afterthought, Ed's hand prodded the key by accident and, mistaking it as a comic book, with drew it out from its shelter and into the air.

"Huh?" Ed said, "You're not a comic book."

He still stared at it like he did when he had no idea what he was looking at.

Eventually, Ed recognized it as a key once his eyes had flickered onto the teeth of the key, properly seeing it as one.

"Oh, you're a key." stating the obvious, Ed could have heard Eddy said, "No really, Captain Obvious."

Seeing the key and the door was starting to make the gears of his brain started to turn rapidly, sparking out nonexistent electricity as he did so.

After a minute of pondering uselessly, Ed stood up and turned around to the door.

"This probably works," Ed mused and jammed the wooden key into the door lock thoughtlessly, forcing it through the lock's ward and turning it open, pushing the door inwards after the door produced a clicking noise.

Fwoosh!

"Wa~h!" Ed cried, feeling the wind blowing past him and pushing him back away from the pass, nearly knocking him down to the ground from the sheer force of it all.

Have Ed mentioned it was loud?

The howling wind was unbearably loud; so much so Ed was scared that the entire neighborhood could hear it even a distance away.

Heck, maybe everyone in a one mile radius could hear it.

Groaning in pain, Ed slowly stood up in defiance of the wind. Pushing past through the tempest with difficulty, Ed dashed forward and tackled into the air, almost blowing up into the air like a fluttering tissue.

Using his momentum as his fuel and his legs as his accelerator, Ed desperately kicked his feet to propelled himself through the wind, managing to grab onto the door's knob.

"Hngh~!" Ed's lower half was still kicking in the air, flapping to and fro cartoonishly.

Ed tried to slowly bring his legs to the ground, dragging his legs down against the wind and successfully onto the earth.

Planting one foot on the ground and one in front of it, Ed dragged himself across the floor weakly. Before Ed could lose his grip on the handle, the oaf kicked off the ground and propelled through the air using the door as a crutch, sending him through the gate and to the other side successfully.

Carefully darting to the door's handle, Ed wrapped his grip firmly on the object in his hand and desperately tried to pull it close before he could send flying back to the outside world.

"Yaagh!" Ed screamed, tugging the door close forcefully with a burst of his herculean strength, slamming it with a resounding bang.

The door sealed shut, the gale ceased and Ed fell to the floor in exhaustion.

"Hah, hah…" Ed panted, flopping his tongue out, "That was so cool, but Ed's so tired…"

Huffing tiredly, Ed sat on his knees while rubbing at his eyes, feeling like all of his energy was sucked out by a vampire.

After a minute of tired panting, Ed slowly stood up and warily but bravely stared down the dim pass between the two worlds.

It was exploring time.

* * *

 **Jack's Note**

 **Yeah~! I'm done! I'm done!**

 **Wooh! Oh yeah! I need to calm down, just the joy of finishing one chapter just gets to one's brain, don't ya think so?**

 **Anyways, serious talk.**

 **A huge massive thank you goes out to SKOOLATOON for helping with a big chunk of this story and being nice enough for betareading & revising this chapter! He was a big help with this all and makes this chapter this chapter!**

 **In all seriousness, read his shit, it's good stuff; his writing is like, a bajillion times better than mine. And with his stories you can get a huge kick out of reading it, so go ahead, he really deserves the views.**

 **Anyways, onto a more plot-esque subject.**

 **Ed will resolve an incident.**

 **Yeah, crazy, isn't it? Sweet, lovable Ed going up against the big bad of a Touhou game! I myself couldn't even believe it. But, well, is not a Touhou fic unless one of the character participates in an incident, that and I already got his shot types and all figured out, his dialogue and scenario, so it'll be a cool couple chapters to look forward to!**

 **Anyways, I'm rambling more than necessary, so let's end this chapter already!**

 **Anyways, see ya later, bye bye!**

* * *

 **ALSO: BEST DELETED LINE EVER:**

 **..."Shouldn't you be focusing on academic works instead? But then again, I suppose it's futile trying to persuade you to think about something other than swindling poor unsuspecting people and scantily clad women." Edd deadpanned.**


	7. Humanoids Stalking the Night

**Chapter 7: Humanoids Stalking the Night**

Ed started to stroll down the dark road stretching between worlds, eyes slowly flicking around to see anything that draws his attention despite the darkness covering literally anything that could be seen.

Not that it really matters, anyway; the tunnel was rather bland, only going onwards in a perfectly straight path and the door leading back to the woods some ways behind Ed.

But why would he want to go back? That's literally the antithesis of the reason why he's in that corridor, to explore.

Ed turned away from the gate, almost refusing to look at it like it was an unpleasant eyesore.

Taking off and away down the road, leaving the green door behind, Ed dashed down the road nimbly, sprinkling a couple of light hops and jumps into the air to gain more momentum as he did so.

Seconds converted to minutes, and Ed was still left in the dark of the road as he ventured further down the path, with only minor changes in light as he did so.

It wasn't until Ed had run headlong into a tree, falling on his back and seeing the late night moon did he realized he had already left the passage; it was such a dark nighttime it was practically indistinguishable from the darkness in the pass.

"Yo~h…" Ed bemoaned, "Is so dark—!" The darkness didn't reply back, but a voice could be vaguely heard replying, "I know~!"

Either not hearing the voice or not caring about it, Ed showed no signs of paying heed to the voice as he hopped to his feet, gently blinking to adjust to the black and grey of everything while simultaneously feeling his path around, blindly groping around for something to help him move ahead in his journey.

As he moved forward, carefully circumnavigating around trees and keeping a watch out for any hindrances, Ed couldn't help but felt rather…alive in the new world he walked in.

He wasn't _changed_ or anything new or anything happened, it's just that his body felt more active for some reason, and the air had an attractive...sensation to it, for a lack of a better word.

Ed shook himself out of his contemplative mindset; no silly mind, I'm here to explore! What had you drawn there all of a sudden?

Ed carefully plotted a course around the autumnal trees, delicately trodding around the trees and ducking down and away from the low hanging branches, ears twitching around to detect anything that might compromise his plans—

"A—A—A—And then that kid—Ed—just ups and left Gansokyo before Ai knew et!" Reimu's familiar voice drunkenly stuttered, "And he left wit' ma food too! Ai just wanna Fa—Fan—Fantasy Seal his a—"

Before Ed could hear the end of Reimu's violent statement, the sound of a head thudding against something like cloth entered the boy's ear and snoring entered it soon after.

"Eek," Ed shivered, "I don't know what a Fantasy Seal is, but it sounds scary…"

"Wa~h? She's out already~?" a childish voice complained, "Ma~n, what a lightweight! Heh heh he…"

...Ed quickly darted behind the tree as soon as the screen door slid open, with the opener of the door stumbling out unevenly, giggling into the night's air.

"Ooh, an Outsider~," the girl laughed dizzily, "from what Reimu told me, that guy sure was a handful for her. He sounds like a fun guy~!"

As the girl laughed into the heavens, Ed carefully poked his head out to see what she looked like.

She was rather short and stout; maybe about Sarah's height or so. She also had a light tinge of orange coloring her hair. The girl's most identifiable feature that caught Ed's eye, though, was the two large yellow horns sprouting from her head, as wide from her elbow to elbow. She also had a purple colored gourd thing in her hand that was dripping with some sort of liquid slightly, with chains falling and swinging to and fro.

Before Ed could get a closer look at her, the drunkard slowly oriented her head to his position and he ducked behind the tree before she could see him.

"Oy, someone there?"

"Eek~..." Ed squeaked childishly and delicately bounded to the next tree's shadow, slinking through the darkness like a shadowy snake.

"Hey~, you're no fun when you're hiding~." the horned girl groaned in a disjointed manner, stumbling disorientedly towards his general direction.

Ed shook his head, refusing to let himself to be seen with adamant refusal as he carefully navigates his way around the trees of the shrine, keeping his peripherals on the horned girl as he did so.

"Ah, musta been my imagination," the girl shrugged off, flapping her hand as she did so before reclining onto a sleeping position, "I think I'll take a nice ol' nap now. Ha~h, zzz… zzz…"

Despite the fact that her horns had propped up her head up from the ground at least half a foot from the dirt, she had looked rather content, if her drooling smile was anything indicative with a rather loud snore. Ed, however, wasn't taking any chances as he quietly tiptoed around the drunken and sleeping girl's body and into the shrine's backdoor, gently closing the screen door once he entered through the doorway.

"Whew," Ed huffed, gently correcting the sleeves of his shirt as he did so, "that's kinda fun~, I should do it again more often."

Once Ed had readjusted all his clothes to its' proper position, he had taken notes about his surroundings as he did so.

It was rather dim, but not unbearably so; it was dark enough for him to see only the most noticeable of objects around, but not so much he could have accidentally walked into a wall or stumbled into a vase. The scent was also off; not nostril burning off, but off enough for Ed to notice it was off.

"Hmm, this place looks familiar, but I can't remember if I saw it before…" Ed pondered. He shrugged, "Ah, no biggie. It's probably nothing too important."

Ed then left the backroom of the shrine after looking around and entered the primary living room, which didn't look all too different from the room he had left, with the exception of a kotatsu in the center and Ed counted two couches on the sides. Reimu was snoring carelessly away on the couch on Ed's left, snorting and twisting in her sleep as she did so.

"Eh~? Who are you?" Ed poked at his teeth, clueless to what her name is (or anything that happened on the day he had ventured to Gensokyo) yet feeling like he had seen her before, "Are you someone I met before?"

No responses from the drunk maiden. Ed merely grinned toothily, "Well I need to give you a name because I dunno yours! Hmm… what do you think about, uh, Oliku?"

No response. "Uh… Allo?"

"Ruri?"

"Poko?"

"Sanae?"

Still, no response, with the only thing that's even remotely like a response was Reimu's obnoxiously loud snore. Ed frowned, "Gee, it's hard to come up with a good name…"

Before he could give up, a proper (and suitable) name for her had popped up into his mind. Ed smiled, already liking it, "Oh! I know! Reimu! You like Reimu, right?"

No response, but Reimu did say drowsily, "Yeah, and you better remember it, youkai… argh…"

Ed smiled happily, "Then you'll be Reimu!"

"No Marisa, it's not Meimu, stop calling me that…"

Ed had no idea who 'Marisa' was—though it did seem familiar— he had merely waved it off, "Okay Reimu!"

No more response.

Ed then left the napping girl in peace after a second, walking around the room to gain a bearing of his surroundings as he did so. As he did so, however, a drop of some sort of liquid splashed onto Ed's cheek, making him freeze instantaneously once he had felt the sensation.

"Eh?" Ed poked his cheek in curiosity and stared at his fingertip. It had some sort of liquid on his finger, somewhat smoky looking and opaque, and it made his fingers feel slightly dry.

"Ooh, what are you?" Ed asked curiously, staring at his fingers. Without any warnings, even to himself, he popped his finger coated in the substance into his mouth and licked it.

It tasted dry like he was licking dry ice and it tasted somewhat strange, like something slightly bitter but sweet in an overbearing way. It was also somewhat addictive.

"You're weird," Ed said blandly, staring at his finger without much thought. He wiped his finger on his jacket and started towards the entrance, bobbing his head from side to side as he walked towards the entrance, curling a tiny lock of his red hair around his finger.

He slid pass the entryway leading into the inner sanctum (or more accurately the living room) and around a small wooden box, leaving behind the Hakurei Shrine as he departed for the outside lands foreign to him.

Ed squinted slightly as the surrounding light faded away, leaving him once again with most of his vision completely crippled and drowning in the nightshade.

Undeterred by the shadowy veil of the night, Ed hopped off the wooden porch of the dilapidated shrine, creaking a plank that would otherwise disturb the tranquility of the night as he did so. Reimu in the room behind him gave a loud snort and tumbled over herself under her blanket.

Ed then jumped off into a run once his toes touched the ground, breaking out in a brisk jog as he went along through the shrine grounds and down the cobblestone stairs, counting the steps as he went along.

"7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 16, 17, 20, 24, 65, whoops, I forgot to carry a one!"

Eventually, Ed finally reached the last ten steps of the obscenely long stairs, ever-present smile still fresh on his lip despite the fact it had taken him a full three minutes to traverse down the steps.

Stepping onto the springy grassy grounds, Ed started to walk through the small forest with watchful eyes, either for examination for anything he never saw before or maybe for any attackers out to attack him.

Fortunately, it was far into late nighttime, so that means the forest was covered in darkness, obscuring Ed's vision and any would-be attackers as well, meaning any predator would have had just as good as a vision as Ed right now.

Ed hummed tunelessly and walked around a small wall of trees, deep in thought;

" _This place feels so familiar, was I here before~?"_ Ed picked at his teeth, mindful of the low-hanging dense branches prodding at him as he ducked under the dense crowd of leaves.

" _Did I lose my memory or something? Ah, whatever, memory losing schmoozing, I'll get back to it later."_ Ed waved off the short train of thought and chuckled heartily, but before he could stop laughing, another high pitch giggle joined him.

Ed screeched to a halt and whipped his head around, confused at the sudden voice projecting from the shadows.

"Hey, who's that?" Ed asked out loud, now slightly apprehensive at the fact he wasn't alone as he had thought.

"Who's that?"

"Yeah, who~?"

"There you are again! Are you invisible?"

"I don't know, am I?"

"Well I can't see you, that's for sure silly!" Ed pouted, flapping his arm in indignation.

He then walked off into the darkness, toddling carefully around the shadows of the trees as the moon shined its' pure light overhead.

Ed stared skywards; the sky was relatively clear, with thin, pulled apart clouds slowly shifting eastward. Faint stars glimmered gently in the dark sky, with some slowly coming into light as Ed's eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness. He bounded forwards and the sky was swiftly obstructed by the thick autumn plume of the trees.

As he walked through the trees, he could vaguely hear the trees' leaves gently rustling, alongside with soft breathing. Intimidated, Ed then picked up the pace and trotted faster, carefully keeping a note about what's off and what isn't. He then whistled in an attempt to feign ignorance; if there's one thing comic books taught him, it's to fake being oblivious as to wouldn't trip the attention of the predator and to avoid being interesting!

The faint shadowy forest then slowly grew brightness, making Ed subconsciously increasing his speed out of excitement. The light grew in luminosity before Ed dashed out into the green expanses beyond the small forest.

Ed gave the scenery a once-over in excitement; it was relatively flat and grassy, with small bumps scattered over the terrain. The tall grass reached up to Ed's kneecaps and folded whenever a gentle breeze blew pass, rippling like water on a lake surface. The plain had gradually dropped down into a slope where a small village walled off from the rest of the world, with an aged stone stair and pathway some ways to his right that lead down to the bottom of the mound and backwards into the forest behind him, presumably leading to the shrine he had left some time a while back.

The yellow-skinned oaf then made a run down the hill, without further thought and tumbled down the grassy field, guffawing like a moron.

"Hah hah hah~!" Ed yelled as the ground beneath him flattened out, sending him headlong into a wall.

An ordinary person would have screeched in torment at the pain and went unconscious soon after. Ed just stopped laughing and grinned like nothing had happened. If anything, the wall was the one that suffered; judging from the Ed-shaped imprint in the beige wall and a hole about the approximate size of his fist.

Ed gently propped his body up and on his feet, dusting off the dirt and rocks on him and made his way around the wall.

As he circumnavigates around the wall dividing the inside from the outside, it finally dawned on Ed it was quiet. Sure it was quiet the moment Ed had stepped onto Gensokyo's grounds, but he had thoughts that distracted him from the silence at the time, and now he was uncomfortably and fully aware of the fact that it was night, and it was completely silent. The fact that he was possibly stalked by an unknown someone didn't make it any more comfortable.

Ed shook off the ominous feeling in his gut and trod around the wall fencing off the area inside, chewing on his thumb as he did so. After a moment of patient walking, Ed finally stumbled upon the large wooden gate leading into the settlement.

There was no one hanging around the wooden door, and Ed was certain it was also the same thing on the other side. He stepped up to the double doors and started to push inwards. Nothing happened.

"...mhm?" Ed uttered in genuine confusion, surprised that the door didn't open like he had planned. The oaf pushed the door once, twice, thrice before frowning.

"Locked," he concluded, picking his nose as he said so. Ed perked up and dug around in his putrid pockets, searching for the item that had unlocked his gateway into the strange realm he had stumbled upon.

"That's the sandwich, the Evil Tim Issue #05, where is it~..." Ed silently muttered, prodding around the countless miscellaneous items stuffed in his pockets in search of his item. After a moment of searching, Ed pulled out the key and turned back to the door, clenched the wooden item in his hands with enough force to split a rock for a moment and started to insert the key where there was supposed to be door handles.

The tip simply bounced off the timber door.

Ed blinked. That didn't go as planned either. The boy frowned and tucked the key back into the moldy recesses of his jacket, assessing the door in front of him in deep thought.

Breaking it down was definitely an option—despite it's imposing size, it had definitely seen better days, with evidence of time's wear and tear on it made clear it was hardly as durable as it used to be—however Ed had a gut feeling that even if he punches holes in the door, it'll merely complicate plans more than he wishes.

Dig a hole? That's definitely a more sound plan than outright demolishing the door; there was soft dirt all around the perimeters of the small settlement, so it was easy for Ed to find a good base to work with, and he didn't have to break anything in that plan.

But...the possibility of him overshooting, missing the settlement and end up somewhere _**COMPLETELY DIFFERENT**_ was so high that Ed could have laughed at himself before he had even made the mistake.

Ed groaned.

 _"I don't wanna break the door and get in trouble, but I don't wanna make a mistake and go to a different place either."_ Ed murmured voicelessly to himself, scratching his ears in thought.

He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, wild visions of whatever's beyond the wooden door flew through his mind and disappeared into empty blackness, along with the new mantra of, "I wanna see what's beyond the door," that he came up in three seconds flat.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

I wanna see what's beyond the door.

Ed's eyelids closed and he yawned; he was so tired and sleepy today and he wasn't even sure what time it is back in his hometown. Ed's wrists felt like lead and for some reason he was growing somewhat nauseous. The Ed dropped to his backside and rubbed his eyes, allowing his head to lean to the right as he falls backward.

Wait, backward? How? There's a door behind—

—Without a chance to finish his half-formed thoughts, Ed's eyes shot open as he stumbled awkwardly to his feet, only to fall forward instead and smash his forehead against the door, sending him falling backward _again_.

"Oh look, the door is yellow," Ed slurred disjointedly, gently backing up and onto his feet as he delicately massaged his forehead.

The pain in his forehead dulled somewhat and allowed Ed to examine his new surroundings peacefully without having a stinging sensation plaguing him every two seconds.

It was rather plain and wasn't worth a second look. For some reason, visages of neo-futuristic buildings rushed through his brain when he imagined what was behind the barrier; tall, sky-piercing skyscrapers with space elevators filled up his mind despite the fact he would have seen it the moment he left the forest. Bright city lights spilling into the air and overpowering the stars' own lights. Loud chattering, gossip, car horns, the things one would've easily found in a modern city like New York, Tokyo, Hong Kong.

 _Not a land that hasn't seen the most recent technological advances in the past three-hundred years like Gensokyo._

Ed frowned in slight disappointment at the complete _lack_ of any futuristic structures whatsoever, no fireworks, no lights, no people. Just...eerie silence, a complete lack of sound, not even natural noises like owl hootings and chirps of crickets.

The disturbing lack of noises was so frightening and unusual that Ed's hair stood on end and the already-cool air felt like it was coming from a freezer.

"Cold..." Ed shivered and pulled the protection of his jacket closer to him. He then walked off down the road while keeping a firm grip on his jacket.

The dirt street was sparse and empty; small patches of thin dried up grasses sprinkled all around every couple of paces here and there, small wooden houses on platforms with completely dark windows, small stone lanterns placed in between every three houses and small trees were found in various places.

It was like a ghost town.

Ed quickened his pace; he felt like he was the main character of a cliche camping horror story, so Ed felt like he needed to act the part. And just like a horror story, the protagonist was alone in an empty town, with no one but a single character with a more mythical or sinister background behind them.

The only thing that would make the already cheesy situation even more cliched was if there was a thick fog rolling in abou as high as Ed's knees.

But Ed laughed, but this is _real life_ here! Reality may be frightening and boring, but there's no way someone can come out of the shadows without him knowing about them and touch his shoulders and drag him away, right—

"Excuse me."

Ed's laughter ended abruptly and a squeal of surprise overtook it instead. A slender but firm hand landed on his shoulder and prevented him from progressing any further, causing him to freeze in mid-move. Ed moved his neck so jerkily that one could have heard creaking from his spine.

It was a woman that seems like she was in her mid-to-late 20s, with long silver hair that had vague blue streaks in it and a hat that looked like some kind of building or castle perched on her head. She also wore a large blue dress with white sleeves. Her eyes were narrowed with heavy suspicion and with how her hands were tense Ed doubt he'll be free from her grip anytime soon.

"Uh— _*cough* *cough*_ Uh, hi! My name's Ed! What's yours?" Ed said as Japanese took over his words. As he spoke the sentence, he couldn't help but feel odd as he spoke words in a completely different language, yet he can understand it as fluently as he did when he spoke English.

It wasn't unpleasant or painful or anything bad, just that it doesn't feel right.

"Are you a youkai?" the woman asked without a beat, ignoring his question entirely.

"A what?"

"Don't play dumb," the woman said sternly, "you must be a youkai. No one could have entered the Human Village at night, the locked gates would have prevented that."

"Human Village? Oh, is this a village? It looks nice, I don't think I'd mind living here for a bit. What do you usually do here? Are there any events coming up soon? I wanna see!" Ed hummed and turned the other way, slowly walking down the path before the woman quickly pulled the boy back.

"Don't change the subject! Are you a youkai? How did you get into the village?" the woman's voice, which was stern but carefully quiet at first, was now loud and pointed as surgical scalpels. Maybe she's reaching the end of her ropes with Ed's stupidity.

"I don't know! I swear!" Ed cried, feeling ashamed. Her height and the tone of her voice made him felt like he was being chewed out by a teacher, or even worse, his mother, "I just wanted to see what the village was like then I just appeared in here!" Ed confessed further.

The woman gave Ed a careful examining look, starting with his shoes and ending with his head. She bit her lower lip and carefully formulate her thoughts. The woman then said, "I'm not completely sure if you're a youkai or a human, but your clothes make you look like an Outsider. Are you an Outsider?"

"What's an Outsider?"

"Someone who came from the Outside World."

"Oh...! Well, when you put it like that, I guess I am an Outsider."

"It...still doesn't explain how you manage to get to the other side of the village wall. Could you have flown over it? That outsider girl definitely can..." the woman pondered to herself, placing a hand on her head in thought.

"Umm..."

"Oh right, I suppose from what I know, I'll have to assume you're an Outsider human. Goodness gracious," the woman's icy-cold tone shifted to something resembling care and worry, "you're lucky you managed to get inside the Human Village; you wouldn't have fared well outside of these walls."

"Uh? Why not?"

"It's...not a pleasant fate for those from the Outside World to get lost here," the woman said grimly, releasing Ed from her grip, "you're very lucky you managed to get into the village; it's the only place in Gensokyo that's safe for humans.

"But what are you going to do now? Surely you don't plan to venture out beyond the village, do you?"

"I think I'll be okay." Ed smiled, "I'm strong, so I can yell for help if I get in trouble."

She sweatdropped, "Erm, that doesn't make much sense."

"I think it makes lots of sense," Ed said in a serene diplomatic tone.

"If, you really insist on being out in Gensokyo alone, just know that you can always come to my home if you need a safe place for tonight. My name is Keine Kamishirasawa, and my house has four lanterns with a red roof, so you can find my home." Keine introduced herself. Ed replied, "I'm Ed Christensen, superclass junior explorer of the cosmos! Pleased to meet you!"

Keine cracked a slight smile, "I have no clue what that is but that sounds rather charming."

She turned the other way and said as she pulled away, "Remember, if you require a safe place, I'm always open for those in need!"

Ed made a waving gesture and Keine disappeared into the night road. He turned around and proceeded down the road with a warmer feeling in his stomach, knowing there's somewhere he can be safe in.

* * *

So far, three hours and a half had passed and the moon had started to slunk slowly beneath the horizon, where it was slowly being overtaken by a faint blue glow at the eastern edge of Gensokyo. Stars faded and Ed found it more difficult to keep his eyelids open as time went pass.

So far, Ed has a fairly decent understanding of the Human Village; it has four walls boxing in the settlement with four doors, one at each wall. One lead back to the Hakurei Shrine, the other three he currently doesn't know yet. The roads and streets were also simple and bland, it was simply laid out in a grid pattern with houses laid parallel to each other. True to her words, Keine's house had four lanterns stationed right outside the entrance of her home that illuminated the bright red roof of the building.

Despite the straightforward layout of the village, Ed somehow managed to stumble back to the entrance of the village twenty times. It was admittedly rather embarrassing, though he laughed it off as usual.

It had brought his thoughts to how he phased through the door, though; as far as he know, he wasn't related to that one cartoon hero who can turn ghost and phase through solid surfaces, and Ed was relatively sure he can't willingly turn intangible at will (if so, then Ed would've abused it from hell to back), so how did he got to the other side of the door?

It was an admittedly curious case, though it wasn't one Ed was in any rush to answer though, so he had pushed the question to the back of his mind for now, and he continued his self-guided tour of the Human Village.

An hour has passed, and what resembling the start of the day was becoming more and more apparent; the eastern edge of the sky had grew a lighter shade of blue with a faint inner glow of orange as people start to emerge from their home to start their jobs. Ed's eyelids grew heavy and he had started to actually try to keep them open; a veritable challenge, considering his legs started to grow more reluctant to do what he wanted to do.

Ed yawned drowsily and raised his hand to his mouth, smacking his mouth noisily as he started to trudge back the other way after he walked to a dead end. His right hand started the motion of raising up to his eyes to check the time, but it was already a task to just walk in a straight path at this point, so Ed had stopped the movement in favor of moving somewhere else to recuperate and gain his energy for the day.

As he walked down the path to where the gate leading to the Hakurei Shrine is, some villagers finally took notice of him and his presence, casting curious sidelong looks at him without turning their heads. They quickly ignored him soon afterwards though, after seeing him simply (and literally) dragged his legs behind him in an attempt to get to somewhere he can sleep.

Ed, in turn, ignored them as he walked towards the now opened gate leading out from the Human Village and up the mound where the Hakurei Shrine sat upon, flanked with two lightly armored guards.

The guards tightened their spears as Ed slowly approached them. They had good reasons to be wary of Ed after all; number one, he was dressed rather oddly, so he didn't look too unlike a youkai. Number two, with the way how his head was hanged so flaccidly down and how he slowly lumbered towards then, Ed had looked somewhat threatening.

Ed stumbled awkwardly pass the two men like a drunken and unbalanced man, trying his best to keep balance and his hand grasped onto one of their spears. The guard made a surprised exclaimation and attempted to tugged it back. Ed stumbled unevenly and, as though he was fed up, wrenched the spear out of his hands with some effort.

"Gaah~..." Ed slurred with a dumb look on his face, limping weakly as he used the spear he took as a walking stick and walked up the path leading to the grove before the Hakurei Shrine.

The two men looked at each other awkwardly, with a mild expression of, 'What just happened' on their face.

* * *

Ed slowly walked through the forest sleepily, now only with a quarter of consciousness to help guide him through the shady forest. He had faceplanted on the ground quite a number of times, so his knees had been turned a dirty brownish in color. He had also walked into trees a couple times too, knocking surprised birds out of their slumber and into the skies.

Ed's eyelids closed as though they were the aperture of a camera, flipping between open and shut at random intervals. The spear slipped out of his hands and clattered onto the grounds, though he didn't payed it any notice. Ed took a deep, rattling breath that sounded like window blinds in a strong wind in an attempt to stay on his feet.

Ed eventually found the stone stairs that lead up to the shrine, though in his exhaustion, it seemed far taller than he had expected it to be. He weakly gulped and planted his left foot on to the first step, and then the right on the second.

At this point, Ed was as good as asleep, so the only thing that even propelled him up the stairs was his subconscious desire to climb the stairs.

It felt like an eternity to scale the mountainous stairs, and it was torture every step of the way. Ed was so exhausted and sleep-deprived at the halfway mark that he had resorted to using his hands to climb up the stairs, scratching up his palms and smearing a tiny bit of blood over the stone stairs.

After what felt like lifetimes of nothing but struggles, Ed finally made it through the red archway of the Hakurei Shrine.

And fell immediately onto his face.

It was irresistible, the desire to close his eyes, and his chest felt like it was made out of lead and collapsing like a burning house. Ed coughed harshly and it only made the peaceful blackness of slumber even more appealing.

 _"Get up, don't fall asleep here, c'mon, get up—"_ before he could finish his thoughts, Ed fell asleep on the spot, with arms spread out like the addition sign.

Not Ed adopting the decimal system.

* * *

 **Jack's Notes**

 **I'm fucking exhausted, it's, like 2 a.m. where I live, my birthday's coming up, and I need to finish my homework ASAP.**

 **Anyways, here's the anticipated Chapter 7! Sorry for months-long delay in getting this one out; I got a severe case of writer's block and I was working on a new story during that time (I won't tell you what it is, it's under wraps right now but I'll release it once me and my co-writer manage to get half of it finished). Nothing new to notify right now, just the same news as always except for one thing. I'm going on vacation on the 8th of next month, so I can't really guarantee an update during most of Febuary, but I'll see what I can do. Also, it'll be really helpful if you can give this chapter a review; I'm really proud of this one and it'll be nice to get some feedback.**

 **Anyways, until next time, bye bye!**


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